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272 South Los Robles Avenue #203, Pasadena, CA 91101

Georgia Daniels, J.D., Mediator in Pasadena

Elder Mediation as Music-Making

Elder mediation focuses on communication and problem-solving within a family or circle of friends who are concerned about the well-being of an elder.  Conflicts may arise between generations, such as between aging parents and their children, or between adult siblings if they slip back into their childhood roles and conflicts.

Typical issues may include parents’ driving habits, whether more in-home care or assisted living is needed, or which sibling is responsible for what aspects of the parent’s care. Mediation can also address more complex issues such as estate planning and inheritance concerns, family business succession, and health care choices.

Usually, the elder’s adult children or friends are quite clear that “something needs to be done” but how this “something” can be accomplished is less clear and can generate heated disagreement among those concerned.  Family members who are locked in ongoing conflicts may be unaware of elder mediation and its benefits. In addition, the spouse of the elder may be committed to maintaining the appearance that nothing is wrong.

The mediator is like an impartial musical conductor who sets up conversations, outlines some options, encourages creativity, and cues the participants when it is time to chime in.  The elder’s voice carries the melody.  Other parties support the melody by exploring options and adapting possibilities to fit their situation.  Together, everyone arrives at a final chord: a plan that describes what best meets the elder’s needs and satisfies concerned family and friends.

Who has the Power?

 WHO HAS THE POWER IN MEDIATION?

In mediation, who has the Power to Decide?  The difference between mediation and other ways to solve divorce problems is that in mediation,  the clients have the power to decide all issues between them.

At Window Rock, in the Navajo Nation in Arizona, the power of erosion created this unusual view through a mountain of stone.   Compare the erosion of stone with the erosion of the family through painful litigation of family matters.  This kind of pain can be avoided, at best, or at least managed with sensitivity.  In mediation,  clients themselves have the power to cut through societal expectations to design a solution that is “just right” for them.  This is the power of “self-determination.”

If you don’t know what is “just right” for you, your mediator will help you to brainstorm solutions that you can tweak to fit your needs.  Leave behind that which does not fit for you.  (Spoiler alert: there are a few topics that are mandatory, such as completion of honest, reliable financial disclosures for divorce, premarital agreements, or post-marital agreements).  In general, you have more control over the outcome in mediation than you would in litigation.  More control means more satisfaction with the outcome and more control over the cost – both financial and emotional.  For more information, call 626-441-1900.

Georgia Daniels, J.D., Mediator | 272 S Los Robles Avenue #203, Pasadena, CA 91101 | 626.441.1900

Los Angeles Mediator and Pasadena Mediator disclaimer: The California divorce mediation, estate planning mediation, family business mediation, or other family mediation information presented in this site should not be construed to be formal legal advice, nor the formation of a mediator/client relationship. Please contact a Pasadena Mediator for a consultation on your particular situation.

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