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626-441-1900

272 South Los Robles Avenue #203, Pasadena, CA 91101

Georgia Daniels, J.D., Mediator in Pasadena

CONSTRUCTIVE CONFLICT – Part 2

Conflicting Information; Conflicting Feelings 
 
There are at least two types of conflict that can crop up in mediation: conflict over data or information, which is also known as cognitive conflict, and conflict over feelings, or  affective conflict.  Divorce mediation tends to focus on facts or information.  But before people can resolve their differences regarding facts or information, they may need to air their feelings.
 
Conflict over feelings has a greater potential to derail a productive mediation if it is not skillfully managed.  Sometimes, one party may seek to review relationship history and to assign blame for a particular outcome.  The blaming perspective is rarely productive.  This does not mean that feelings have no value in mediation; they do.  Often, it is impossible to move forward until each party has had the opportunity to state his or her truth about a matter, and to feel heard.  Then, when the parties feel truly heard, they can move on to reviewing their situation, to seeing it again with a new focus on current and future actions rather than past history.
For more information, call 626-441-1900 or visit www.GeorgiaDaniels.com

Who has the Power?

 WHO HAS THE POWER IN MEDIATION?

In mediation, who has the Power to Decide?  The difference between mediation and other ways to solve divorce problems is that in mediation,  the clients have the power to decide all issues between them.

At Window Rock, in the Navajo Nation in Arizona, the power of erosion created this unusual view through a mountain of stone.   Compare the erosion of stone with the erosion of the family through painful litigation of family matters.  This kind of pain can be avoided, at best, or at least managed with sensitivity.  In mediation,  clients themselves have the power to cut through societal expectations to design a solution that is “just right” for them.  This is the power of “self-determination.”

If you don’t know what is “just right” for you, your mediator will help you to brainstorm solutions that you can tweak to fit your needs.  Leave behind that which does not fit for you.  (Spoiler alert: there are a few topics that are mandatory, such as completion of honest, reliable financial disclosures for divorce, premarital agreements, or post-marital agreements).  In general, you have more control over the outcome in mediation than you would in litigation.  More control means more satisfaction with the outcome and more control over the cost – both financial and emotional.  For more information, call 626-441-1900.

Georgia Daniels, J.D., Mediator | 272 S Los Robles Avenue #203, Pasadena, CA 91101 | 626-441-1900

Los Angeles Mediator and Pasadena Mediator disclaimer: The California divorce mediation, estate planning mediation, family business mediation, or other family mediation information presented in this site should not be construed to be formal legal advice, nor the formation of a mediator/client relationship. Please contact a Pasadena Mediator for a consultation on your particular situation.

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